Expanding Horizons...

Greetings after such a long hiatus! I have finally graduated medical school and started on the treacherous though exhilarating path towards becoming a doctor. The lessons I have learned and continue to learn from pole remain timeless, however.

I recently was lucky enough to have a little break in my work, enough for me to explore pole studios in my new home in Connecticut. I happened upon The Girl Spot, a little treasure tucked away in Trumbull, CT. I had been eying this studio for a while, alas my 80-100 hour work-weeks prevented me from doing much else aside from sleeping outside of work. The minute I had a break, however, I decided it was time to break my 3-month hiatus from pole and try a class. I started with the intro class, being nothing if risk-averse, and had an amazing time. The method taught at the Girl Spot was completely different than the Climb and Spin method I’d been taught in NYC. They opted for teaching grips required for the more gravity defying- spins and inversions earlier rather than later. I had some difficulty switching my brain over to these more complicated grips but as soon as I tried them I could instantly feel the potential for more impressive pole tricks stemming from those grips! I left that class pleasantly surprised about pole classes outside of NYC and LA, with the firm resolve to return next week to the suggested intermediate class.

A week passed, and I had procrastinated going back to class due to sheer terror. What if I was horrible? What if I couldn’t execute the maneuvers these other girls had learned in beginner classes and could now do with their eyes closed? My procrastination was aided by an illness likely picked up at the hospital where I now work, and at home I watched videos of Alethea at her new studio in Nashville while feeling sorry for myself.

Eventually I decided going to dance class is always the right decision, so I picked up my phone and scheduled a class for later that same day. Immediately I had panic-filled visions of me completely messing up choreography, not understanding the push-pull grip integral to so many parts of pole, and other such disasters. The most important part of pole, as I have learned time and time again is that you have to overcome your fears. As Bonnie at NYPD would say to us in every class, “pole is no place for pussies!” So I faced my fears head on and went to a class full of people I didn’t know and techniques I didn’t know. And it was incredible. So many of the tricks were new to me, but I took to them like a fish to water! With some re-configuring of my pre-existing pole knowledge I managed to get my hands and legs around the pole in a satisfactory manner, and felt quite wonderful at the end of it! My only regret is that my work schedule prohibits me following the rigorous course of 5 dance classes per week such as I was used to before college in order to make me proficient in the art form that I am so enamored with! 

Crystal Meditation

I've always been captured by beautiful crystals and stones, since I was a little girl. I used to collect rocks, gems, and crystals, and name them and talk to them. (I was an only child until I was eleven, no judgements!) Recently I rediscovered this latent passion of mine, but with a metaphysical twist. Putzing around on the internet one day, I came across an amazing website (www.thatcrystalsite.com) which listed all of the stones, with gorgeous pictures and ample descriptions of which chakras they are purported to help and what properties they inherently have. Most of you probably know rose quartz as the "love stone", but did you know it dissolves anger, fear and jealousy as well? And the love is not just limited to attracting romantic love, but it promotes self-love as well as compassion for oneself and others. Knowing the properties of the stones makes them excellent media for meditation. Gazing upon the surface of the stone, imagining oneself inside of it, travelling through its planes and exploring it, all the while repeating whatever mantra or affirmation fits with its intrinsic properties, can be a very powerful thing.

For example, I recently acquired a lovely sample of sodalite: (http://www.thatcrystalsite.com/products/product-details.php?cat_id=5&product_id=11793). With it I used the affirmation "I have meaningful and uplifting communication with those I love." Gazing upon the crystal surface, noticing all its intricacies and idiosyncrasies  I felt the affirmation to be true, and felt extremely peaceful. Whether or not there is any science to this, I doubt, but as a future neurologist I will say never underestimate the power of the human mind.

Community. No, not the television show.

Life is beautiful. I truly believe this. Over the past few weeks, friends, some of whom I didn't even know I had have been making themselves available en masse to help me out when I was in a rough spot. One thing the Church teaches us is that God Himself is a community- the Trinity. Being a part of so many amazing communities- Redeemer Presbyterian, my medical school, and New York Pole Dance, has shown me just how good people can be, at a time when I most needed it. Remember that movie you all cried your eyes out to, Les Misérables? Yes, I mean you. The part that got me the most was when the cast sung "To love someone else is to look upon the face of God." Truer words were never spoken.Or sung, I suppose. I really think God makes Himself and His love known through other people He places in our lives to remind us that we are not alone. I've had friends call me, text me, come visit me, email me, and answer my 3 AM "I can't sleep" calls, and their love has truly touched my heart. It has given me the strength to move forward with my life, taking up crystal meditation (see my next entry!!) and to redouble my efforts to advance to fancy pole tricks and getting to know more about this Being who made us. For all of my dear, wonderful friends reading this, grazie mille. Je vous aime.

Push Past

For those of you who know me, you probably know that my favorite dancer is Alethea Austin. Her style and music choices are to die for, but recently what I've begun appreciating about her is her motto- "push past". Push past the pain to the other side, where you will find strength and amazing things.
Since this is a blog about physical, emotional, and mental health, I feel like this story belongs here. I have recently had my heart broken. The person I thought would never leave me did, and left me alone to try and pick up the pieces of my bleeding, shattered heart. It's been beyond hard, but one day as I was dancing in class, Alethea's motto came to mind- push past. A little voice in the back of my head told me to breathe through the pain, to feel it, own it, and not fight it. I was reminded of a stretch class I took with my favorite instructor at NYPD, Bonnie. She pushed us to our limits, telling us stretch as far as we could on our own then working with us to push us past what I had even thought possible. My initial reaction when she came to push me deeper into the stretch was to resist, to fight back and push her off of me. But she's not going anywhere. Eventually you learn to breathe into where it hurts- your hips, your hamstrings, your quads, and the pain goes away or becomes something tolerable. I decided to try this in my everyday life. Whenever I feel the waves of anguish coming over me, rather than avoiding them like the plague, I try to accept that they will happen, and breathe into and through them. Now this is much easier said than done. My tolerance for physical pain is through the roof, however my tolerance for emotional pain is slight, if any. But I am finding ( and this is only day 3 of trying this technique) that I have hidden emotional reserves that carry me through the times where I feel like the pain is so much I can't bear it any longer. I imagine the pain of stretching for increased flexibility, and just try to breathe through it. Accept it. That which you resist persists, as a famous Buddhist saying goes.

My return to the horizontal pole! Or, it is totally normal for your legs and arms to shake like that. I promise.

First of all, thank you all for coming back to read about my (mis)adventures in trying to keep fit! I have a certain lovely, amazing friend who has recently become obsessed with the barre method (yes you!). I’d heard of it before, but had never seriously considered going, especially after I picked up my new favorite form of exercise, the subject to which this blog is dedicated, pole dancing. But I’m stranded up here in Palo Alto without a car for the month, which seriously limits the places I can go to for exercise. Needless to say the minute I got here and got adjusted to my horrendous work schedule, I looked up pole dancing studios in the palo alto/ SF area. All the ones that looked decent were not within walking distance, so I resigned myself to working out at home. One fortuitous day, as I was exploring sleepy little palo alto, I stumbled across this place: http://www.purebarre.com/. Ah! Yes! I committed the class schedule which was so elegantly etched onto the front door to memory, and made a pact with myself to return to the Saturday class. Saturday morning arrived (and none too hastily, might I add!), and I get up and start to get ready for class. I love and hate getting ready for new dance classes, because I have no idea what to expect! What do I wear? Will I look totally different than the other girls in the class? As most dancers can tell you, a lot of dance classes have unspoken “uniforms”, partially dictated by the nature of the exercise, and partially dictated by our inherent need to fit in.  

         A short bike ride later, and I arrive at  the studio. It is meticulously appointed, complete with candles and a very nice receptionist dressed in, you guessed it, a fancy lululemon tank top and leggings. Alright, fine. I do the whole registration things, signing forms saying that I won't sue them if I die, etc,  all the while talking nonstop about how my friend loooves the barre method and how this is my first class but it seems like fun! Do I need anything special? Is this ok to do the class in (gesture to ensemble) Did I mention this was my first class?

         

      The class itself was great! I have never taken an “exercise” class before, only dance classes, so the instructor walking around with a headset microphone and all the people doing synchronous crunches were a foreign thing for me. But the workout was fun, fast, paced, and most of all EFFECTIVE. I would have bet all my worldly possessions that the warm up was the whole class, because I was exhausted and shaking already, but the instructor’s cheerful “Alright! I hope you are all warmed up and ready to work by now!” combined with an incredulous glance at the clock which confirmed that indeed, only 20 minutes had gone by, dashed all those hopes. A mix of Pilates and ballet- barre inspired moves, all kicked up a thousand notches by the holding and pulsing we did constantly throughout class caused all the muscle fibers in my arms, abs, butt and thighs to revolt one after the other. My legs were literally shaking as we did a seemingly endless succession of squats and leg lifts, all with very small, isometric movements very unlike the fluid, large movements I was used to in ballet class. I gripped the barre for dear life while silently apologizing to the vertical poles I’d so fallen in love with, convinced this torture was their retribution for my infidelity. The class was only 55 minutes, but seemed to last 3 hours . At the end of it, that welcome rush of endorphins was coursing through my body, which made me feel great, even though I'm pretty positive I was the worst one in the class, except for maybe the devoted boyfriend who came with his girlfriend ! This class is definitely something I would recommend to all those former dancers out there looking for a way to stay in shape that doesn’t entail destroying your joints, as well as those brave of heart who like a workout that employs pulses and isometrics.

P.S. I never knew what isometrics were until I looked it up:

Isometric exercise or isometrics are a type of strength training in which the joint angle and muscle length do not change during contraction. Isometrics are done in static positions, rather than being dynamic through a range of motion.

Thanks Wikipedia! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Isometric_exercise

Lessons in Levitation

Physics was never my strong suit, to be sure, but I at least could understand that one law about opposite and equal actions and reactions. Or I thought I did, until I tried to apply it in pole dancing class. Our insanely fit instructor was effortlessly gliding down the pole from a standing position (who knew there was even anywhere to go?), telling us to “levitate” as we slid down. Ok, fine! I’ve totally got this. I gripped the pole and extended my legs into a side split, but quickly found myself on the ground before I knew what was happening. How did I get there so quickly? She had taken at least four counts to glide down to the floor, and here I was, my super long legs stuck in a side split and unable to pick myself up to move and try again. Alright, no matter, we’ll try this again. I scrambled up to standing again, took a deep breath, grabbed the pole, and extended my legs, hoping this time the descent would be more graceful. No such luck. I found myself again, in a side split, confused and this time embarrassed. Sensing, and, no doubt, seeing my consternation, my instructor made her way over to where I was trying to pretend like the previous five minutes had never happened and showed me the grip I was to use in order to really push myself up the pole and not just slide down it like a sack of ungainly potatoes. The previous series of events repeated itself until she decided it was time to move on. My face was burning. What was wrong with me! How could I not get this one simple move, that was really just the opener to another fun combination of climbs, skater spins, and body rolls. The music filled the studio, and the counts “5,6,7, 8” snapped my body and my mind into that peculiar state of tense relaxation. My muscle memory took over as I went through the steps we had just learned, and to my infinite shock, the initial descend went perfectly once I stopped beating myself up about not being able to do it, and just did it. Once again, I was getting in my own way by focusing on what I could not do. Class over, filled with adrenaline and natural opiates (the best kind!), I made a mental note to be filled under “memoranda, to be thought of on a daily basis”- Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t want. Super simple, yes? Much easier said than done. 

Back in the Saddle

After a 2-week hiatus during which I visited my friends and a very special friend in particular in the beautiful city of Los Angeles, I decided it was high time to get myself back into class. I was a little nervous to return after my vacation, not having done anything even remotely physical for so long. So it was that I found myself back in the familiar pink-and-black studio, surrounded by familiar faces and that warm, welcoming energy I so craved. The warm-up was uneventful, and then came the routine on the pole. From the minute I placed my hands on the pole and prepared to climb, I felt something was off. I couldn’t grip the pole as tightly as I used to before my vacation, and my attempts at climbing were almost as bad as they were that first day! I felt the frustration and embarrassment welling up within me. As I sat out waiting for the second group to learn the routine, I tried to comfort myself with thoughts of what it was like coming back to ballet class or even yoga after a hiatus. There were certainly plenty of times when I lifted my leg into what I felt was a lovely, perfectly extended arabesque, only to check my positioning in the mirror and see my leg a good six inches below where I had envisioned it! That disconnect was certainly nothing new, though this realization brought me only a small bit of comfort. But, as any dancer will tell you, not every class is a home run, and when you have a bad class, the only thing worse than staying is leaving. So I stuck it out until the end, and did what I could of the routine. The high that I was on throughout all of the other classes was notably, painfully absent during this one, but as a dancer friend of mine once said, “I will be brave. I will still dance, even though my tummy hurts.”